The Re-Check, and now more to do...

I took Allie for her re-check: they found three more—one on her back and two on her breast. Urggghh... I am so worried even though I know it will be fine. The biopsy was taken from her back and we go back for the one from her breast soon. It is all about staying ahead of it and I am creating it not to be cancer. Now the waiting starts again. It shakes you right back into what is important: family and friends. There will be no cancer—that is my full intention.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND A BLESSED NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!

Allie's Re-Check

Tomorrow we go for a re-check at the U of M Cancer Center. I have had a great time with Allie and Hayley. I was given a surprise birthday party from Hayley and my best friend Corri. Allie surprised me and came home from school when she was in the middle of finals. She is now home on break. Allie has told me if they find anymore cancer (God forbid) she is not going to do anything with it. Well, that will not be the case! Even though she is 19, I am going to do whatever I can to get her to do what is needed. I hope I am just worried for nothing. It lives in the back of my mind as it comes closer to the re-check date. I am just going to take it one day at at time. I am looking forward to the words “no new cancer!” That is what I am praying for and that is what I fully intend to happen.

Allie and I spent the day shopping and getting all of our errands done. We plan on doing movies on Christmas Day. I am on break and loving every moment I am spending with my girls. I am so blessed.

Happy Holidays to everyone and have a wonderful New year!

Today.

I am getting ready for the holidays already; I am trying to get all the shopping done before the holiday rush. Wow, this year went by so fast! I have decided to run a marathon for my 50th—I signed up with Team Leukemia. They totally prepare you, I feel like I am in better shape now than I was in my 20's. This is a big goal that I have always wanted to accomplish.

Allie has to go back in December for her check up at U of M cancer center. We have to stay on top of it. School has been taking up so much of her time and I have needed to keep reminding her that she has to make these appointments.

Hayley is adjusting to work life. I spent so much time with Allie getting her well and I am now spending a lot of time with Hayley; she needs me as she adjusts from college to the work world.

Turning 50 is harder than I thought it would be. I keep thinking of all the things I haven't done yet. In the last couple of weeks it has occurred to me that maybe I should spend the next half of my life not worrying about what I haven't done but instead enjoying every moment. People are coming in to my life and I am letting them in. I still plan on being in great shape and, most importantly, I keep finding ways to make a difference. This year I got on two political boards. There is so much I can do and so much more to be done. I am blessed with a wonderful family, amazing friends, and now some others to get to know.

Anyone reading this... have a great night.

My Daughters

It has been a while since I have posted an update here. I was thinking about my girls and how inspired I am by them. After the cancer scare that we will be dealing with for a long time, Allie got swine flu. Right before mid-terms she needed to leave school and get well. It was so stressful for her. For a brief second she broke down and said; “Why does everything happen to me? My father dies, I get cancer and now swine flu.” She cried and moved on. We talked about the difference she has to make: when Allie got cancer she wanted to help children with special needs see Disney World. She looked up a program called Give Kids the World. She filled out piles of paper work and organized 65 girls from her college to volunteer on spring break to give these kids a wonderful trip. She then applied to go to South Africa this summer to help children in a clinic. She leaves in June. The choices she made were choices to go forward. I am in awe of who she is and can't wait to see who she will continue to evolve into.

Hayley is adjusting to being in the work world. She finished college in 4 years, while all of her friends are still taking classes, received three job offers and took the one with the most opportunity. I told her that she is going to be a millionaire by the time she is 30. She is so good with putting money in a 401k and savings. Hayley works her tail off at Kraft. She goes beyond what she needs to do. Her next goal is a promotion to her own territory. I am certain she will get it. She is growing into this powerful young woman and I am so proud of her.

I have made many mistakes in my life. I spent time apologizing to my daughters for any choices of mine that made their life harder. It is hard for me. I spent my life living for them and making sure they had what they needed. It occurred to me they are doing just fine. I am inspired to live my life full-out because of them.

Allie Going back to College

My Allie is going back to college tomorrow. I am sad. We had one last shopping spree at Somerset Mall today. She is living in the sorority house. I am so used to seeing her everyday but it is time to let go. My oldest Hayley is thinking about moving to Birmingham once her lease is up. That is a great choice for her. My daughters are moving to a new space in their life. They are growing up. I am so proud of the young women they have become.

Try this Again

Corri,

I know you are reading this. I love you so much. There is no better best friend than you. HAPPY 40TH! I hope all your dreams come true.

I am having so much fun with my friends. I feel so blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life.

It was back to work today. Allie had to go back to the cancer center. Her wounds are not healing as they would have liked them to be. I am just so thankful she is cancer free. We will deal with this. Now I have to get serious with her follow-up care. She moves in to the sorority house on Sunday. I have to keep her focused on her health; with her studies and activities she could easily leave it second but I will not have any of that. This has to come first.

OK, back to work…

Disney World

We had a blast. It was the first time in a long time that I really did not worry much about work. It is a memory we will always have. The Girls' Trip to Disney is now going to happen every year!

Update

One of my daughter's wounds separated away from the stitches. We were back at the University of Michigan Cancer Center to have it looked at. It is a hole in her back. I know I love my daughter because now I have to pack this wound twice a day with gauze and saline solution. To look at it makes my stomach turn. I am not meant to be in medicine! It is for Allie so I will do anything to get her well.

I am all about keeping her well. She has an 8% chance of not getting it again. I fully intend her staying in that 8%. It is a matter of quarterly check-ups and me always staying on her to apply sunscreen. It is becoming part of her routine to spray herself with sunscreen.

We are going to have a GREAT TIME in Disney World celebrating that she is cancer free! Thank you God and everyone that prayed for Allie.

Follow Up

Today Allie had her first follow-up appointment. The nurse practitioner was very stern with her and let her know that she has a 92% chance of getting the cancer back. She has to do her follow-up care every three months—getting checked thoroughly so that they catch anything before it turns cancerous. I am going to make sure she does it, no matter what. The nurse also told her the her surgery was being observed by one of the best and most famous surgeons. I told my daughter; “You know I created this: you having everyone that can possibly make you well in that room.” I am certain that the surgeon was there to watch because Allie's surgery was a little different. They started on top and then turned her over for a biopsy. I still believe you create your universe. It was no accident that that woman was in there. It is a teaching hospital and I am not surprised.

Our trip to Disney world will be a celebration of the end of this cancer. I am off to Arizona for most of the week to train bankers. I am so used to seeing Allie everyday. I will miss both my girls.

I feel blessed that things worked out this way. Every minute really counts with my daughters and family. I cannot express it enough.

THE BEST NEWS EVER :-D

I got the news today that Allie is cancer free! They got all the cancer—it did not get in to her lymph nodes. Allie was so relieved and we just celebrated. Now it is follow-up care every six months to keep to make sure it doesn't come back. I have learned a lot from this experience. I spent so much time working and when I was off I wasn't really off—I would be distracted by all the things I needed to get done for work. Now I spend my time in the moment. Allie and I are going to Disney World! I am excited about our girls' trip.

I prayed every night and today I thanked God for the this gift he has given Allie and I.

I am renaming this blog. It will be about happier times. Thank you everyone for praying for my daughter. Thank you for all the love and support.

Bandages off and a Good Day!

Allie took her bandages off the six places. She looked at where the scars will be once she heals and really took it very well. I am so amazed at how she takes this one step at a time. I have learned so much about just living in that moment and not worrying about the next step. Tonight her friends picked her up to celebrate her friend Chloe's birthday. She looked beautiful. She said; “Look mom: this dress covers my scars.” We bought the dress in Birmingham for our Disney trip. Scars and all, she looked gorgeous. I told her; “Men love scars because it shows you are a strong woman.” She is so confident her beauty shines through. I was not that confident at her age. I admire both my daughters and who they are. I look up to them. Allie has this path that she is on and no one, or any obstacle, will stop her. I feel so blessed to watch the process of how she will get there. I am there for my girls as someone that they can count on to never give up on them. As they grow older they don't need me as much. There are times, like with this cancer, when Allie wants me there to hold her hand, rub her back, and tell her this will be OK. I cuddle with her in bed and we watch TV or goof around with the camera. I am driving her to work tomorrow and then when I pick her up we are going in to Birmingham for dinner. The waiting on pathology is still hanging over my head although I know she must be cancer free—I am just ready to hear it now. I know Allie is ready too. There are no words to truly describe how much love you have for your children. I love my girls and I am so clear that I am the lucky one to have them in my life.

Feeling Better

It is amazing how much better she got in one day. I am working from home and Allie is relaxed and able to walk around, with hardly any pain. I am so happy for her. Now, once we get the pathology report, we can put this whole thing behind us. Allie and I last night decided to goof around with the camera. I love my daughters!

Today.

I asked Allie if I could take some pictures of her so that she would remember the experience. I got this one as she was getting out of bed. It says it all: she hurts from top to bottom. Allie never expected it to be this painful. I am inspired by who she is in the matter of this whole thing; she is refusing any hard pain medication and instead sits still and just keeps herself calm. She uses Tylenol extra strength instead. I seriously do not know if I could do what she is doing. She is one tuff young woman.

Last night she finally fell asleep after a considerable amount of pain. I helped her take a shower today which made her feel much better. I also made her go to the grocery store with me to walk around. After that she was so tired she slept for four hours. I wanted to get her up so she wasn't so stiff but I see her feeling much better now.

Now is the waiting for the pathology. I can't wait for them to tell me she is cancer free! That is my full intention and that is the only option.

Allie's Surgery

Long day… We started in nuclear medicine. They were starting the mapping process to the lymph nodes to see if it has spread. At first they took a couple of pictures. After the radiologist looked at them he wanted her to go to a different machine and then a CT. I got worried that they had seen something. Your mind goes all different places when they ask for more of something. Then I realized it could just be that they wanted a better view of what they were looking at.

The University of Michigan staff is amazing. Allie all of a sudden got very upset and was crying. It suddenly hit her how serious it was. Everybody helped her through and got her ready. The nurses, the doctors, the technicians—all were professional and so good with her. They let me stay with her until they wheeled her out. I kissed her a bunch of times and then waited till I could see her. They let me see her sooner then most patients because she was yelling for me. She may be 19 but I will always be her mommy. Through the night the pain got worse. She is a tuffie though; she did not want any pain medicine, only extra strength Tylenol. I convinced her to take the harder stuff. Her throat hurts from the tube. The biopsy on her back and stomach are hurting and where they removed the cancer on her breast is painful. She is so strong. She just lays really still and tries to sleep off the pain. In a couple days she should feel a lot better. Now it is the waiting on pathology. I will know she is cancer free next Thursday. That is my complete intention, hope and dream.

Tomorrow Allie has surgery

Tomorrow Allie has her surgery. She is also going for a lymph node biopsy at the same time. My stomach is on fire with worry and she hasn't slept well. However, I know she is in a great hospital with wonderful doctors and I fully intend tomorrow being the day that this all ends and the cancer is gone: there is no other possibility.

After the surgery comes the waiting. Allie is also having a biopsy at the same time as they remove the cancer. We also have to wait on the lymph node study. It takes about a week to get everything. Cancer is a waiting game. I want it to go fast and be done with but it just doesn't work that way. I fully intend they find nothing and in that week of waiting I will keep up that thought process.

I am spending all weekend in with my Allie making sure that she is OK and that her needs are met.

Allie's Doctor Appointment

Today we had her pre-op appointment. Allie filled out her wishes if she should, God forbid, go into a coma and a vegetative state. I questioned her and made sure that she knew what she wanted. She was very clear that she did not want to live that way. That was a horrible moment for me. She is filling out her consent to let her go. God forbid a million times over. Another moment was when the nurse said; “They are figuring out the stage of the cancer from the surgery.”—you see, for me there is not a stage except ‘over and done with’ after the surgery. When times like this happen I get sad and then I have come to move on and think of what I choose to create to happen… A healthy and cancer free Allie as of this July 17th, 2009.

Legal Papers

Today my attorney told me he was putting papers together so that I have control over my daughter's health and finances if God forbid she can not. I have not cried in a number of days about the cancer but this got me. I looked at her and she seems in great health; she is happy and working and having fun this summer. You would never guess this stuff is going on inside her body. I never thought I would be having a conversation with my daughter regarding her wishes if—GOD FORBID—anything happens other than the cancer leaving her body on July 17th, 2009 (when she has the surgery). I am very specific because I do believe you have to be very careful what you put out into the universe. You can create anything and I choose to create Allie being cancer free right after that surgery that day.

Nice Weekend

Allie and I spent the weekend getting her some things for Florida. We also went to a movie and she spent some time with her friends. She has a scar from the biopsy and it was the first time she didn't want to wear something because of the scar. I let it go. After the surgery she will have some scars on her body. We will deal with the repair once they are healed, if needs be.

I have to make sure I give my oldest daughter Hayley enough attention as well. She is out of college, recently moved to her first apartment, and has begun her first job. Hayley is trying to adjust. I needed to talk to her one-on-one to make sure she is OK. With all that is going on with Allie I don't want Hayley to feel left out. This is an important period in her life too.

I look at both of my girls and feel so blessed to have them in my life. I have made mistakes but I have come to realize that all parents at some time wish they had done something differently. I have always loved them and let them know they can do it when they doubted themselves. They are my babies and always will be no matter how old they get.

Picture of Allie

I was looking at this picture of Allie after she graduated from high school, on her way to Europe. She still looked so young. When she got back from Europe a whole new world opened up for her. Then she went to college and her style, tastes, health, all changed for the better. Allie has always stood for what she believed in, but now there is this confidence that backs how she feels. In one year she grew up into this wonderful young woman. I got her surgery schedule and appointments. The worry for my daughter is always there. I worry that her future will be interrupted by cancer. I will do whatever it takes to make sure that it is not and that she lives the life she has always dreamed of. She wants to be a surgeon, I am certain this experience will make her a better one. God gives you what you can handle. I believe that. He puts you on a path to learn from so you can make a difference. Allie has a great future ahead of her. I am certain she will use this for the better of others.

I have a friend that told me this blog is dramatic. He is so right. I don't know what to do with the feelings of fear, sadness, the unknown and most importantly the powerful way I am dealing with creating this cancer to be gone. It all lives inside of me at the same time. I am a doer so writing helps me get out the negative and create the positive. I have had stuff in my life and the way I handled it was taking charge of it to make sure it went the right way. That is what I am doing here—taking charge of the cancer to make sure it does not take over her life and is completely gone. Any parent would do the same. We love our kids and we feel for them in a way that when we were younger we never thought we could. A parent's love can not be described in words; it lives in our hearts and makes us strong for our children.

The Zoo

Today Allie and I went to the Detroit Zoo. We walked around and tried to see the animals. The problem was that they were all asleep from the heat! It was fun and something we have not done in years. We then went to Birmingham and walked around. We bought sun dresses for our Florida trip. Every minute counts with both my girls now. My phone rang with clients that needed things. I got tons of emails on my Blackberry. Normally I would be on the phone but today I did not return calls until 9:30 tonight. I wanted this time with Allie.

We talked about chemotherapy. God forbid. I hope and pray it does not come to that. She told me she would not do it. I then got in a Mom mode and told her I would basically make her do it. Not a good way to approach this conversation. I am hoping it is a conversation we never have to have again. I pray every morning and night she will be cancer free by July 17th, 2009. I tell Allie to think of the cancer leaving her body.

My life is on hold till we get through this. I was ready to fall in love and commit this time. I wanted that for myself. I am going to be turning 50 and I am simply ready to be partners and share my life with a person that is right for me and I for him. I work hard on my mental and physical self so that I can love others and receive love as well. The receiving part I have never been as ready for as I am now. Allie's illness has taught me that life is too short and about what a roller coaster ride it can be. You have to live every second honestly.

Meeting the surgeon Dr Chan

We went back to the U of M Cancer Center today to meet the surgeon, Dr. Chan. He had no bedside manner but was a knowledgeable surgeon and someone I can trust my daughter's life with. He told me there is a only a 10 percent chance of it being in her lymph nodes. I know 10 percent is hardly anything but I wish he had said zero chance. Dr. Chan was straight forward and told Allie what the scar would look like. Instead of her having two surgeries by two different doctors, he is going to do it all in one surgery on July 17th. I was relieved. Then the following Thursday we will have the results of the lymph node study. Allie had a concern about the scar and I did too but he was all about making sure the cancer is gone and that was it. Allie liked his manner and said she would be the same kind of doctor. I am certain she liked how he just got to the point. That is my Allie—always getting right to the point. So, we are going to spend the next few weeks before surgery doing some fun things. The zoo is on the agenda for this Saturday. I asked my oldest daughter Hayley to come with us too. It will be fun to walk and around the zoo with my girls that are older now. When I was married to Philip we used to laugh that we would go to the Detroit Zoo and there were hardly any animals. I will do whatever it takes to get Allie healthy and cancer free.

Allie's Art Work

Today Allie gave me a picture she made for me while doing art with the campers where she is a camp counselor. It said; “I love you Mommy,” just like when she was a little girl. I just loved it. I will keep for the rest of my life.

Tomorrow is her first appointment with the surgical oncologist. I never thought I would be meeting with this type of doctor for my daughter. Now I placed her life in his hands. I looked up his bio and he I am confident he will get all the cancer. Dr. Chan is an experienced doctor who also does research. I get it will be fine.

I keep thinking about what is important. My house is where the kids come to sit around my kitchen table. They eat me out of house and home! I would not have it any other way :-) Her best friend Caitlyn is a staple at our house. I take her to breakfast and the girls tell me about boys, school, etc. I am blessed with a great career, but it is those moments that make life so sweet and wonderful.

Two Letters

Today when I got home from work I and got two letters from University of Michigan cancer center about Allie's appointments. One a surgery and one her first meeting with her surgical oncologist. I kept the letters in the car. The cat had pooped in her bed and she was not pleased! (16 year old cat that forgot old age) Got home, washed the sheets and did not say a word about the letters. Instead, we talked about how much fun she had as a camp counselor for a special needs child. I did not once talk about work. Normally I would be at work until late. Instead, I came home, ate dinner and had a great conversation with Allie.

I planned all the dinners for our Disney Trip: French, Italian, sea food, etc... I was worried we would have to cancel. I have decided this will be good for Allie's healing process and we will plan everything around this if we need to. It is my full intention she is cancer free by August 1, 2009.

I have focused so much on the wrong things. What is important is to be in the moment. This is a hard way to learn it but I am glad I am learning it.

Today...

I asked Allie; "How come she is not dealing with the cancer?" She said; "I am dealing with it in my own way." I actually wish I could be more like her; so calm about it. I find myself crying when I am alone. If I am in the gym I will just break down in tears. The gym has always been a place for me to to get it all out. My family and friends tell me these terrifying stories of melanoma. I know they are trying to help because they always have a happy ending. They really don't help though; they scare me more.

Allie is so tired from working two jobs and going to summer school. She studied most of the day today. I wish I could get her to rest more. I want her to take it easy so her system can heal. Honestly, I am like her I would be racing around doing everything too. We are not quitters and to a fault she has that from me.

Saturday night I convinced Allie to take this long walk with me to Dairy Queen. It was horrible! Our feet hurt and it took us two hours from start to finish. Another Mom moment with my baby.

Hard Day

Today Dr Schwartz from the University of Michigan cancer center gave me the news on the other biopsy. The melanoma was deeper and now she needs to go to a surgical oncologist and have a lymph node biopsy. I just cried. The Doctor doesn't think it went into her lymph nodes. I pray so hard for that. She is 19 and the depth of the melanoma warrants a test biopsy on the lymph nodes. The surgery on her breast and lymph node biopsy will be done at once. Then she has three other places they are removing another day to test for cancer. I pray they are not cancerous. I literally have to take this one minute at a time. Sometimes it is so overwhelming I feel short of breath. I stand still in time with such sadness. On the other hand I know how to fight and get through things. I have done it all my life. I have taught my girls to never give up. They don't quit. I am certain Allie will do whatever it takes to make herself cancer free. She already stopped drinking diet pop and talked to me about eating more organic.

I am creating Allie being cancer free by August 1, 2009 and celebrating at Disney World!

Allie and I Girl's Trip

Today I booked a trip for Allie and I to Disney World. We are going to have so much fun! Five nights just running around the parks. I hardly ever leave my work for a vacation. Time just passes by. This will be a special time for Allie and I. I then called my oldest up Hayley and asked if she wants to do a girls' trip to Las Vegas. She is 22 and we need that time together. Hayley is grown up and getting on her own. It will be nice to spend that special time with her.

I had a bad dream, a horrible dream a couple nights ago. I am so stressed waiting and waiting. I just want to get on with it. Get the surgery and move on. I want them to tell my daughter (which I fully intend they will), "Allie you are cancer free." I will then take her to her favorite restaurant and celebrate and celebrate and call my whole family and friends to tell them. How I want that and How I want that now.

cancer has taught me about my own life. I live mostly alone, rushing around being the best at my company. I don't spend a whole lot of time on my personal life. I am alone and yet I don't want to be, but do nothing much to change it. In seconds cancer puts everything in perspective. Your kid has this and all that is important is her life and life in general. Everything falls short of Allie living cancer free and having a great, amazing life (or rather, both of my girls living a great, amazing life.) Like I stated before; I won't capitalize cancer. It won't be a powerful force in my daughter's life or as her Mom in mine. I will acknowledge that it awoke me to my life and how I want so many people in it.

Allie is about to come home from her Calculus summer class. I can't wait to discuss and plan our Disney Trip...

Enjoying Life

I spent the weekend with my daughter. Every second counts. We took the dogs to the Bark Park, talked about going to Disney World and laughed at how I ate a whole Apple Pancake by myself! It was a fun weekend. I can't wait till this cancer thing is over and we can just move on. We are still waiting on the rest of the biopsy. Another couple of days. I keep praying there is no cancer in the part that was taken for a biopsy. I usually work till 10 but I didn't feel like it, I just wanted to hang out and do nothing much. Allie and I decided we are going to stop shopping as much and do other things like movies, walking places, etc... cancer has forced me to stop and just have a good time. I got too much into work and everything was in the shadows of my career. You have this child with cancer and it wakes you up to your life and what is so important. I love my girls, family and friends.

Every Moment Matters

I was thinking about Allie today when she walked in from her summer school class. I was so happy to see her! I have learned that every moment matters. I forgot that - it got lost in my busy life. It is the same with my oldest daughter Hayley. If there is one good thing that has come from this cancer scare it is that it has made me stop my busy life and enjoy what is important: my two daughters. I sat with Hayley and coached her on her new career. Allie and I just laughed at the burnt grilled cheese she made. I have missed so many of those moments because my career has been so overwhelming. Now life has shaken me a little and I get it.

Our First Appointment

Today was Allie's first appointment at University of Michigan's cancer Center. When you walk off the elevator the first thing you notice is people in wheel chairs. This is not where I thought my baby would ever be. It is a kind place. Doctors come out to greet you. The resident and the doctor were so caring to Allie. Allie asked, "What if you find something on my head? I don't want a missing patch of hair." The nurse replied; "Either you won't be here or you will have a patch of hair missing.". It was truthful and I respected her for not sugar-coating it. So I feel more in control because I now know we are on a path to her wellness.

Tomorrow is appointment day

Tomorrow we start the cancer process at the University of Michigan cancer Center. I won't capitalize the word because I won't give it power.

Appointment time is getting closer

Wednesday June 10, 2009 is our first appointment at the Cancer Center at University of Michigan. The unknown scares me. I am creating that everything will be fine. I lay in bed with her and we cuddled, just like when she was a little girl. I feel like there is sadness covering my whole body like a film. Don't get me wrong, I am not a quitter and I am a creator of positive things. I don't want to deal with this. I want to create something that is powerful, positive and at the end of this we can say, "She is cancer free."

Today With my Daughter

I was in the gym and I was talking to a Doctor about my daughter's cancer and I started to cry. I broke down in front of a person I hardly knew. When I got to the car I just cried and called my sister and my best friend. I look at my daughter and I am so worried. Every second is precious now. My words to her now are, "Did you put your sunscreen on?". Wednesday is her first appointment. I will try not to cry when I talk to the doctors. You have a child and the love for that child goes beyond any words that can describe it. I love both my girls with everything I have inside of my heart. Now my baby is with cancer and I will do whatever it takes to make sure she lives a life of happiness and love. I will do what ever it takes to make sure she beats this. I am praying to God it is contained and that with surgery they can get it and she can be done with it. Please pray with me. So here I am blogging because I need somewhere to get it all out. As parents we only want the best for our children. As a mother I blame myself that maybe I could have put more sunscreen on her when she was little or listened to her when she said she had this "Funny thing" growing on her. I am so happy she took it upon herself to go to the doctor. She said today "I just knew it was something". She was born 4 pounds 9 ounces of will. I love her and I keep thinking of all the fun times we had and will have together.

Finding out that my daughter has skin cancer

You never want to hear the words Malignant Melanoma, especially when they are talking about your child. Allie is 19 year old pre-med major at University of Michigan. Now she is about to go for her first visit (on June 10th) to the Cancer Center at the University of Michigan Hospital. She is my baby. I look at other little girls and remember when she was small. I am a successful woman who gets through anything. I am having a tuff time with this. There is a 99% cure rate if we caught it all and I really hope we did! So here I am - a beginner blogger getting it all out. I thought maybe just maybe I can make a difference in this area. I intend to speak out about tanning and the effects it has on your body. I now follow my Allie around with sunblock and drive her crazy about putting it on! I look at Allie differently now. Every second counts. We had a girls' day today where we shopped and got our nails done. We took the dogs to the dog park. Every day counts... So if you are a parent, go over to your child and give them a big hug and kiss...