Allie and I Girl's Trip

Today I booked a trip for Allie and I to Disney World. We are going to have so much fun! Five nights just running around the parks. I hardly ever leave my work for a vacation. Time just passes by. This will be a special time for Allie and I. I then called my oldest up Hayley and asked if she wants to do a girls' trip to Las Vegas. She is 22 and we need that time together. Hayley is grown up and getting on her own. It will be nice to spend that special time with her.

I had a bad dream, a horrible dream a couple nights ago. I am so stressed waiting and waiting. I just want to get on with it. Get the surgery and move on. I want them to tell my daughter (which I fully intend they will), "Allie you are cancer free." I will then take her to her favorite restaurant and celebrate and celebrate and call my whole family and friends to tell them. How I want that and How I want that now.

cancer has taught me about my own life. I live mostly alone, rushing around being the best at my company. I don't spend a whole lot of time on my personal life. I am alone and yet I don't want to be, but do nothing much to change it. In seconds cancer puts everything in perspective. Your kid has this and all that is important is her life and life in general. Everything falls short of Allie living cancer free and having a great, amazing life (or rather, both of my girls living a great, amazing life.) Like I stated before; I won't capitalize cancer. It won't be a powerful force in my daughter's life or as her Mom in mine. I will acknowledge that it awoke me to my life and how I want so many people in it.

Allie is about to come home from her Calculus summer class. I can't wait to discuss and plan our Disney Trip...