Allie back at U of M Hospital-Out Patient Surgery

I have not written in a long time on this blog. We went Friday for a mini-surgery and now waiting for the results. I can not stand the waiting. The doctor's said, "This time it is totally fine." I feel blessed that the results look good. Allie came home today so I could help her bandage her back after a shower. She is amazing, as much as she hates the scares she still moves forward. I listened to her ask some very intelligent questions to the doctor this time. She is my baby but it is her body and she is of age to get the results on her cell phone which makes me a bit uneasy. In my world, I will always be her mommy and I should be deciding what is right for her. I am used to doing everything and making the decisions. Listening to her, I did realize she has a good hold on her health. We go back for another six month body check-up Nov 19th.

I have two daughter's that are living really wonderful lives. I watched them grow up into such beautiful, strong, young woman that have compassion for other's. My job as a parent is never done. I am my mother's baby and they are my babies. I have this picture of Allie with her blankie from when she was a newborn. As grown up as she is, she still loves to keep that blanket around. There is a part of her that is still a little girl. I am so thankful for my daughter's.

Running for Cancer...

I have not added to the blog in awhile. I leave next week for Paris. I have tried to get ready for a half marathon before and never followed through. This time I followed the whole schedule because I had a bigger purpose. I am running for the people I care and love that made it or did not make it. My Dad passed away of Leukemia. He was a rock solid forward thinking person in his day. He would say to me, "Bari, your grandfather had the gift, I have the gift but you really have the gift." What he was talking about was the gift to do something with your life. I am blessed with this special person who challenges my thinking in my life say to me...(you are reading this and you know who you are-S :) "How many nice hotels can you stay in? It is the adventure that makes it great." This man not only is on one adventure after another, he uses his resources and time to impact people for the better. I take note of what he does and admire his fortitude to get it done without letting any barriers get in his way. That is what my Dad was talking about He did not even know I was pondering his statement as we were eating lunch in a whole in the wall restaurant, but it is true. Why not have an adventure and make a difference at the same time. I get to run for my baby who has to constantly get checked because of her age and the depth of the melanoma, and cut to keep the cancer from coming back. At 19 she has six scars and we are going back for another recheck before she leaves for Australia. So...it feels really good to challenge yourself and make a difference at the same time.

Summer is Coming..I have resources on this blog. NO TANNING BOOTHS AT ALL. NO LAYING OUT WITHOUT PROTECTION. Melanoma is one of the fastest moving cancers. Please... read the information. I don't know a word of French, but I do know that if you are nice to other's they will be nice back to you. So I am relying on that to get me through..take care.

Happier Times...

Allie is studying in Australia for most of the summer. She is 19 and wants to have fun, I don't blame her. There was this moment when I got down about this whole thing. My dear, best of best, friend stopped that quickly—Thank you Corri! Hayley got a promotion; I am so blessed!

We will be doing check-ups for a long time. I am certain there will be no more cancer! That is how I am creating it.

Tomorrow in the snow I will be running seven miles! I can't wait till summer!

The Re-Check, and now more to do...

I took Allie for her re-check: they found three more—one on her back and two on her breast. Urggghh... I am so worried even though I know it will be fine. The biopsy was taken from her back and we go back for the one from her breast soon. It is all about staying ahead of it and I am creating it not to be cancer. Now the waiting starts again. It shakes you right back into what is important: family and friends. There will be no cancer—that is my full intention.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND A BLESSED NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!

Allie's Re-Check

Tomorrow we go for a re-check at the U of M Cancer Center. I have had a great time with Allie and Hayley. I was given a surprise birthday party from Hayley and my best friend Corri. Allie surprised me and came home from school when she was in the middle of finals. She is now home on break. Allie has told me if they find anymore cancer (God forbid) she is not going to do anything with it. Well, that will not be the case! Even though she is 19, I am going to do whatever I can to get her to do what is needed. I hope I am just worried for nothing. It lives in the back of my mind as it comes closer to the re-check date. I am just going to take it one day at at time. I am looking forward to the words “no new cancer!” That is what I am praying for and that is what I fully intend to happen.

Allie and I spent the day shopping and getting all of our errands done. We plan on doing movies on Christmas Day. I am on break and loving every moment I am spending with my girls. I am so blessed.

Happy Holidays to everyone and have a wonderful New year!

Today.

I am getting ready for the holidays already; I am trying to get all the shopping done before the holiday rush. Wow, this year went by so fast! I have decided to run a marathon for my 50th—I signed up with Team Leukemia. They totally prepare you, I feel like I am in better shape now than I was in my 20's. This is a big goal that I have always wanted to accomplish.

Allie has to go back in December for her check up at U of M cancer center. We have to stay on top of it. School has been taking up so much of her time and I have needed to keep reminding her that she has to make these appointments.

Hayley is adjusting to work life. I spent so much time with Allie getting her well and I am now spending a lot of time with Hayley; she needs me as she adjusts from college to the work world.

Turning 50 is harder than I thought it would be. I keep thinking of all the things I haven't done yet. In the last couple of weeks it has occurred to me that maybe I should spend the next half of my life not worrying about what I haven't done but instead enjoying every moment. People are coming in to my life and I am letting them in. I still plan on being in great shape and, most importantly, I keep finding ways to make a difference. This year I got on two political boards. There is so much I can do and so much more to be done. I am blessed with a wonderful family, amazing friends, and now some others to get to know.

Anyone reading this... have a great night.

My Daughters

It has been a while since I have posted an update here. I was thinking about my girls and how inspired I am by them. After the cancer scare that we will be dealing with for a long time, Allie got swine flu. Right before mid-terms she needed to leave school and get well. It was so stressful for her. For a brief second she broke down and said; “Why does everything happen to me? My father dies, I get cancer and now swine flu.” She cried and moved on. We talked about the difference she has to make: when Allie got cancer she wanted to help children with special needs see Disney World. She looked up a program called Give Kids the World. She filled out piles of paper work and organized 65 girls from her college to volunteer on spring break to give these kids a wonderful trip. She then applied to go to South Africa this summer to help children in a clinic. She leaves in June. The choices she made were choices to go forward. I am in awe of who she is and can't wait to see who she will continue to evolve into.

Hayley is adjusting to being in the work world. She finished college in 4 years, while all of her friends are still taking classes, received three job offers and took the one with the most opportunity. I told her that she is going to be a millionaire by the time she is 30. She is so good with putting money in a 401k and savings. Hayley works her tail off at Kraft. She goes beyond what she needs to do. Her next goal is a promotion to her own territory. I am certain she will get it. She is growing into this powerful young woman and I am so proud of her.

I have made many mistakes in my life. I spent time apologizing to my daughters for any choices of mine that made their life harder. It is hard for me. I spent my life living for them and making sure they had what they needed. It occurred to me they are doing just fine. I am inspired to live my life full-out because of them.